The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing
“Maybe it’s through grand declarations or pithy bon mots. Maybe it’s with slick dance moves. Maybe it has to do with the fact he’s taken your favorite lampshade and turned it into a sporty chapeau, providing petite amusement for those who revel in his tipsiness. If in fact it is the third route your party animal chooses, be prepared to spill a drink on him while he unscrews the lamp’s finial from its harp. If you’re lucky, the shock he receives will knock him unconscious. That way, you can shov...e him in a corner and claim he’s in his cups as well as your lampshade. Let the party begin!
It takes me about a half-hour to drive back to Lion’s Lair. The butler who answers the door doesn’t like the fact that I’m sopping wet. Too bad. To appease him, I hand him my waterlogged shoes and make my way to my room barefoot.
Jack is in the room when I get there. “What the hell happened to you?”
I imagine my grin resembles the Cheshire cat, albeit a half drowned one. “Carl was officially served his divorce papers, in front of witnesses.”MoreLess
It takes me about a half-hour to drive back to Lion’s Lair. The butler who answers the door doesn’t like the fact that I’m sopping wet. Too bad. To appease him, I hand him my waterlogged shoes and make my way to my room barefoot.
Jack is in the room when I get there. “What the hell happened to you?”
I imagine my grin resembles the Cheshire cat, albeit a half drowned one. “Carl was officially served his divorce papers, in front of witnesses.”MoreLess
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