Delinquency Report (2010)
“I discovered to my dismay that Santa Claus was not a jolly old elf in a red suit. He was a middle-aged man with a beer belly and stained T-shirt; the man I called my father. I had already become an agnostic the year before when my Superman cape reeked of my father’s cigar smoke. But I ignored it in a futile attempt to maintain the myth.This particular Christmas, however, I caught him in the act of assembling my electric train on Christmas Eve after I had (ostensibly) gone to bed.
I faced the re...velation with mixed feelings. On the downside I had to lower my expectations of fancy presents and become a little more realistic in my requests. On the other hand I was no longer faced with the onerous task of maintaining good behavior, especially toward the end of the year when I expected Santa would be paying attention. Not that it seemed to matter. I could never find a correlation between my deportment and the quantity or quality of the presents I received. I suspected Santa was treating anything less than grand theft auto as a “boys will be boys”MoreLess
I faced the re...velation with mixed feelings. On the downside I had to lower my expectations of fancy presents and become a little more realistic in my requests. On the other hand I was no longer faced with the onerous task of maintaining good behavior, especially toward the end of the year when I expected Santa would be paying attention. Not that it seemed to matter. I could never find a correlation between my deportment and the quantity or quality of the presents I received. I suspected Santa was treating anything less than grand theft auto as a “boys will be boys”MoreLess
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